One of the great things about being a parent to a child with Down Syndrome is that when you go shopping, the majority of time, it is a great boost experience. People come over to comment and offer support and advice often!
Occasionally...rarely...I get the odd person or two who will give this look of distaste when they see Hope and then I just think "shame poor you! You don't know how wrong you are and how much you are missing out in life with that attitude". Once in a blue moon I get someone who will come and say things like "shame I'm so sorry you have this burden in life" and they actually think they are being nice but I just want launch a flaming fist at them because they are insulting my daughter who is half me and half my lovely hubby, and a beautiful gift from God for us!
Most of the time though I get people complimenting Hope, giving me words of encouragement about being a mom and a lot of the time people who have a child or relative with Down Syndrome and have advice or just want to connect. I am continually amazed at how many people I bump into in shops who know someone with Down syndrome, it's a huge community and new world I would never have entered or known existed if I hadn't had Hope. I don't think this happens as much to mom's with kids without Down Syndrome, because when I'm out with just Arthur people comment on his lovely blue eyes (which lets face is are enormous and totally beautiful) but they don't rush up to me and show me their nephew or niece with Down syndrome on their blackberry or tell me about how to get batteries for Arthur to post into holes to teach shape sorting or tell me which school their kid went to or tell me what wonderful things Arthur will do in years to come. Hope has always been this great draw card for people to swoosh in and pour compliments and positive words. I feel quite scandalous for enjoying it so much but many the hard day has been brightened by a stranger's kind words and I've found myself becoming much more outgoing when I see other mums and especially mum with kids with disabilities in the shops as a result.
I do have one struggle and that is when strangers in the shops feel entitled to touch my kids and don't ask me. I'm always nervous of germs and for sadder reasons know that our world has many awful people who harm children so I don't want my kids thinking it's okay for just anyone to come up and pick them up or touch them. I know many mom's battle with when to say something or not when it comes to strangers touching our kids. I've seen a mom move like a cobra when a cleaning lady flicked her child's cheek and whilst I thought she was a bit nuts for her reaction only after I had Hope did I understand her reaction. These days I'm pretty relaxed about it but I do worry especially about Hope and how to teach "stranger danger"! The best shopping outings are when someone dashes up to us, gives Hope and Arthur a compliment and directs a question to Hope (Arthur is too young), who gives me a word of encouragement or some interesting advice and doesn't touch!
It's pretty cool that Hope is breaking down some of the usual social barriers just by being herself, even I am learning to come out of my shell and give attention and love to others. I think God knew I needed a bit of coaxing and who better than a gorgeous little monkey of a daughter!
Katey! I was so happy to see your comment on my blog today! I have been wondering how you guys are doing, and only just found your blog. :-) Our kids are definite ice-breakers, and I, too, can't imagine how life would be if Samantha *didn't* have Down syndrome - I wouldn't know nearly as many amazing people as I do now. :-)
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